Brighter than Sunshine...

Is how you might say I feel when I look at her smile and eyes...
There is one problem, I'm apprehensive...
I can't tell if it's just been brought on because she is still apprehensive, or if it really is me... But I'm almost positive that it's just me trying to protect myself because she is also trying to protect herself...
I can tell, though, that she's emotionally sensitive, even more so than me, and is probably why I was so concerned for her tonight, especially when I heard her voice crack when the past was brought up... It's good that we are on the same level again (just like a lot of other things) but I think the real problem is that she still hasn't gotten herself final closure and you can really only become stable after you get that... As I know... I'm just not as sensitive as her, and simply avoid the details of the subject at all cost, or I do become emotionally unstable, very quickly... That’s probably another reason for my recent apprehension...
The sooner the crap hits the fan, the sooner, I think and hope, we'll both start letting down our guards...
That explains why I kind of feel the same now as I do before we got into a relationship. It's because there is the same 'don't get too close' attitude before as there is now. Just now I don't have to worry about if she'll go out with me on a weekend, but instead worry about getting hurt worse... It's a risk that we all must take, its just a question of how sturdy are the hands you're falling into, and I would like to think that both of us have been through enough to never hurt each other like we have been in the past...
I'm tired... I might try to get up early and run again tomorrow, assuming my muscles, knee, and heart are up for the challenge... Clean up around the grounds or do some homework... Then hopefully get to hang out with Kenna for the rest of the day :)
I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know I'll have a smile on my face when I see her again :)