Grrrrrrr.......

durr...
Here I am again... not depressed... just royally and sincerely pissed off at the world and myself... I'm chasing after dreams only to realize they aren't meant to be or that they will just never happen, and I hate myself for wasting my time... I can be such a hypocrite... I tell freshman not to waste their 4 years here, but as far as I can tell, I've pissed away many more days than I've spent well...
I don't want to accept my fate which I've come to know as time passes... thats probably why I keep chasing these dreams...
Once again, I find myself lost because I don't want to accept my fate and I don't want to waste time chasing pointless dreams...
I hope Edmonson can help me... I'm laying it all down again this weekend sometime... maybe by the end of the weekend I won't be so pissed off at everything, and I'll finally make some decisions I've been thinking about making for awhile now...
Let's just say that I've been considering pushing everyone but those VERY close to me, and my brothers out of my life so I might have a shot at finally not being a hypocrite anymore... These thoughts and actions take too much out of my life all for probably nothing in the end... and thats been bugging me for a while...
Yeah... I'm definitely wasting away my life... One day I'll look back on my life and remember a few grand things... My parents, grandparents, brother, the first person I kissed, the first person I loved, brothers, Philmont, my eagle scout, graduating from CHS and RHIT, and thats probably about it...
I'm so pissed off right now...
This post hardly makes sense to myself, so don't be going off any getting any wrong ideas...
go team???