Another day passes me by...
Lets see if I can even remember what I was going to post about...
Well it came upon me last week that I could very well go through my entire life as a single person... a thought that helped keep me in manic depression all last week... But then today I realized it really wouldn't be so bad... Well compariatively to what I could of had and the single life it sucks big time, but its not horrible... I could easily see myself going from 25 - 50 just working a daily job and filling my life with activies and friends... For example, it would be awesome to be a scout leader for like 20 years... go to Philmont 10 more times... improve the lives of so many by being their troop leader... like the sons I never would get to have... Throw that on top of a renewed relationship with God and I think I could make my life quite fulfilling... The only problem would come when I get old, and there is no one by my side... Those last 25 some odd years of my life would be the most pathetic of all... I only hope to die an acomplished man who will always be remembered and not forgotten...
This is not the life I had planed, but you have to take what God has given you, and do your very best with it or else another day passes you by, and your life becomes filled with emptiness... I've learned this over the past 21 years of my life, letting things pass me by, not caring enough about the present, taking the future for granted... I have a future... its not the one I'd like to have, but I'd have to say it is still brighter than some, and thats good enough for me... My darkest days have finally past me, even though those dark clouds will always linger... I still have a bright future, just not as bright as it should have been...
Only God and myself will ever know my true feelings for Chelsea... They are an unexplainable beating in my heart that will never leave me as long as I remember... I never want to forget what true love felt like... Shakespear was right... Even though it has cost me so much pain in the past, present and future... I would never trade that feeling of true love... It is a priceless gift I will take to my grave. Only God could ever bless me with such a feeling again...
Hrmmm... Falling asleep listening to Mr. Brightside (the Killers)... I think its a good time go to bed after I brush them teefers, do some situps, pushups and a prayer... Then up early to try and see if I can bust my knee by running 3 miles!
Night all...
Go Team! (go team now refers to my gurls - I <3 you all!)
in ppka,
-Schue
Well it came upon me last week that I could very well go through my entire life as a single person... a thought that helped keep me in manic depression all last week... But then today I realized it really wouldn't be so bad... Well compariatively to what I could of had and the single life it sucks big time, but its not horrible... I could easily see myself going from 25 - 50 just working a daily job and filling my life with activies and friends... For example, it would be awesome to be a scout leader for like 20 years... go to Philmont 10 more times... improve the lives of so many by being their troop leader... like the sons I never would get to have... Throw that on top of a renewed relationship with God and I think I could make my life quite fulfilling... The only problem would come when I get old, and there is no one by my side... Those last 25 some odd years of my life would be the most pathetic of all... I only hope to die an acomplished man who will always be remembered and not forgotten...
This is not the life I had planed, but you have to take what God has given you, and do your very best with it or else another day passes you by, and your life becomes filled with emptiness... I've learned this over the past 21 years of my life, letting things pass me by, not caring enough about the present, taking the future for granted... I have a future... its not the one I'd like to have, but I'd have to say it is still brighter than some, and thats good enough for me... My darkest days have finally past me, even though those dark clouds will always linger... I still have a bright future, just not as bright as it should have been...
Only God and myself will ever know my true feelings for Chelsea... They are an unexplainable beating in my heart that will never leave me as long as I remember... I never want to forget what true love felt like... Shakespear was right... Even though it has cost me so much pain in the past, present and future... I would never trade that feeling of true love... It is a priceless gift I will take to my grave. Only God could ever bless me with such a feeling again...
Hrmmm... Falling asleep listening to Mr. Brightside (the Killers)... I think its a good time go to bed after I brush them teefers, do some situps, pushups and a prayer... Then up early to try and see if I can bust my knee by running 3 miles!
Night all...
Go Team! (go team now refers to my gurls - I <3 you all!)
in ppka,
-Schue
posted by Eric at
9/27/2005 11:23:00 PM
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